BRITS have been guaranteed more attractive remuneration rules after airlne proposals were reported this week.…
A FLIGHT attendants fundamental obligation is to guarantee the travelers’ safety. Notwithstanding, in the event that the traveller needs any help during the flight, the flight attendants are likewise there to help. Be that as it may, do they in some cases lie in regards to what happens onboard?
Airline steward Dan Air uncovered that in spite of continuously proposing to give travelers assistance, not all that they say is true.
“I’ll come back with more information as soon as I have some”
“Which will be sometimes never,” Dan admitted.
“If it’s a technical issue, do I look like a mechanic? Not in this outfit darling.
“A weather-related delay? Well, I’m no meteorologist and sadly can’t work miracles and make the fog disappear or the snow melt.
“To be fair, your over-worked and under-paid crew are always the last people to know so there’s really not much point asking us.”
“There’s no need to worry, our aircraft is completely safe!”
The airline steward said that despite the fact that they are not really lying, they still can’t be totally certain the airplane will not have any technical issues.
Dan joked: “Just ignore the gaffer tape on the wing, the broken overhead lockers, the faulty toilet, the sink in the forward galley that keeps over flowing, the dodgy air conditioning units above row 31 and don’t even get me started on the broken seal around door 2L.
“Please don’t be alarmed when you discover that this aircraft is almost as old as Cher and has done more miles than the space shuttle.
“Our engineers are very handy with their tool boxes and can work miracles,” he said
“This is perfectly normal”
Dan admitted they “have to tell you that”.
“If it’s a strange noise, we may have never heard of it before. If it’s a funny smell, we might never have smelt it.
“And if it’s really bad turbulence, it’s probably the worst we’ve ever experienced too.
“But no matter how scared we are, our perfect, pearly white smile NEVER wavers.”
“We don’t have any of that left”
Dan explained crew are “normally not” sorry but they apologise just to make the passenger feel better.
The flight attendant said: “Well, first of all, it depends what you’re asking me for.
“We may still have it, but it will be on the other trolley or all the way back in the galley locked in a canister.”
He explained: “Whatever it is we’re apologising for, it probably isn’t our fault. But we do, as it makes you think that you have won and makes our life that little bit easier.
“Yes, I’m sorry for the crap weather that has delayed your flight. I’m sorry for the French air traffic controllers who have once again decided to go on strike.
“I apologise that we have run out of chicken, I know, it’s all my fault and I really should have made sure there was more loaded onboard. I can’t apologise enough that Heathrow can’t handle more than an inch of snow.
“I’m sorry for the exploding volcano in Iceland and please accept my sincerest apologies for the damaged engine on this jet; but believe me I would much rather it be broken here than at 37,000 feet.”